Thursday, 29 May 2014

Equation 68 : Affair.



Affair,
The heir,
Forsaken believing,

The only one owning,
Never were trusting,
An existence beforehand,
Life pursuing 
Without any
Any belief nor even congenitally, 
Tears of an unspoken,
Words, 
Heard, not only just once,
For eternally, a lifetime,
Maybe,
Would still, appear,
Affair,
The heir,
The beauty of your eyes,
Gazing towards the brightest light,
If only I could see you smile,
Again,
The remembrance of you and
I, 

An affair I say,
Or call a love,
I disobey
Forever there,
Though your shadows no longer,
Able to see,
No body ever believe,
Echoes of us,
You and,
I,
An affair,
Or call a love,
I disobey
Still heard,
In the deepest remedy,
A memories would endlessly,
Remains in my heart,
Through the glimmering star,
A smile would still be,
Imprinted in my heart,
For eternity,
Affair,
The only heir.

( c ) Kytty Sakuraiba 2014

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

This is life.



               Living a life with Multiple sclerosis.
                It has been almost seven years I’ve been living with this illness. Sometimes people asked me, what did you study? What are you working as now since you are already twenty five. Sometimes it’s really hard for me to answer those two simple question.
                I didn’t manage to continue my study after I graduated my hgh school due to the starting of this desease. Frequently relapse. Not able to stand or walk like normal human being does. When i first didn’t know about what i actually have, i kept on asking myself. What did i do to the humans i know until they are not happy with my and do something to me, but certainly i was wrong.
                In the year 2007, a few months after I had an accident with a my motorcycle, i broke my femur and collar bone, it seemed a little stange when one side of my eyes couldn’t stop moving. Was there anything wrong with my head? Am i crazy or is it just an illumination? Oh, gosh I wonder/ I went to the hospital optimatrist a couple of times, but they just game me the same answer,
                “Your eyes are moving, miss,”
                Of course I know that, or else why would I come and ask for you? They didn’t bother to send me to any special regarding my eye sight, at the end, it seriously made me loose my temer and i decided to stop going to see them anymore.
                At the end I went to a private hospital and was told to do an MRI, and the dr said there’s nothing wrong with my vision, only the nerve that was controlling my eyes are corrupted. I was saying, I’m sure that he is lying to me. No, i wasn’t sure of anything at all actually. The Dr told me to see a neurologist specialist in another Hospital.
                So, I did. And he sad that there’s two more test to confirm if I really have this disease.  The vision test was a failure since i couldn’t be sure with what i am looking at, but at the end as all the result came out, yes, I am confirm with having multiple sclerosis.
                I was suffering for a few months after that. I used to have a normal life, but what will happen to me now? I don’t know.
                Thank God that I have people nearby me giving me courage to move on. My family, my love, my friends, though they know i’m not capable in doing a lot of things, they would still give me courage to move forwards with my life.
                Well, of course how can I forget these five faces that always made me smile as well.
                Arashi.
                Though they are not near me, but they would still be there in my heart.
                Even though I am missing a lot of things in my life, a chance to be the best among the best. No, at least to be the best in what I’m capable of doing, I still smile thinking that I am still breathing. Maybe He had given me something that I do not want, but He gave me something else for me to cherish and remembered for the rest of my life.
                That He is always there, my families are always there, my friends, and my love, they will always be there for me.
                II might not be apable in achieving what you have already achived, but I am happy I am still living. Cherish your life for those who are still breathing. Love anyone who are there for you. Thanked them for always being there for you.
                Disease? No, it’s not an excuse for you.
                Keep on smiling, have a happy life ahead of you and always believe that YOU can always move forward.
J
( c ) Kytty Sakuraiba 2014



Saturday, 3 May 2014

Equation 67 : An Open Door



Glitter,
How thee eyes keep on,
Shines,
Though how seconds always,
Neglects 
Time do not ask me why,
Often,
Forgets equations of an only,
Love,
Tear never stops falling,
Down,
Thee heart keep on wondering,
Blunder,
Constanly done without knowing,
Please,
Merciful horror, eternally awaits,
Thee,
Hope for you to come back to,
Me,
 A smile was given, to me so,
Free,
An open door,
Please,
Be close to, right here with me.

( c ) Kytty Sakuraiba 2014