Thursday, 31 January 2013

Equation 25 : Friendship

Isn't something that you can
Buy or even sell as simple as
A. B. C.
Friendship is something that
You cherish
Taking care of
Worth more than diamonds or pearls
Just like the most precious
Once in a life time
To have in the dark, cold world
Thank you for always
Being a friend|
Always being there
Right by my side
Even though path ways were filled
Too many laughter
Or even tears
You're still next to my life
Promised that forever
Treasure you eternity
My friendship with you
Dearest friends.

Loving you forever,

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Boom, Boom, Boom. ;)

When was the world
What you're there to be
The situation
Time should not
What other words
Could be heard
Other than,
Just because,

Boom, boom, boom.

Let us hear again,

Boom, boom, boom.


Happy Belated Birthday, Sakurai Sho! :)

Today is the day
Time won't change
Or fades away
My love for you
Won't ever turns to gray
Promise me
You'd be here
Forever, just to stay.

Even though I must go,
Leaving time
But how can I ever
Forget love that was graved
Deep inside my heart.

I only have one wish to say.
Before the day past
Fading to the other day.
Wishing you,
A Happy 31st Birthday!

Thank you for always being there,
Thank you again for letting me love you,
Through years,
I'd love you forever,
Sakurai Sho.

( My Love 4 U - 2006 - Eternally ) :)


Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Countdown. . .

Counting the day..


Only 3 more days.


For a Special day.


Only you, my love,
Sakurai Sho.

Equation 24 : 1,2,3,4.

One, two, three, four.
The clock is counting,
It won't stop,
No more.

Five, six, seven, eight.
The time won't turn,
Moving straight,


Nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
How day has change
So bright,


Won't stop.
Counting again,
Until the day,

Turned once again.


Thursday, 17 January 2013

Equation 23 : Longing.

Even if I,
Knowing that time would still,
Departed the loving,
Our visible sight that was always
Seen but still  consuming facts
How the hardest second
Split in between life
I will still try
Try to understand how,
And why would a  miserable hope
Longing just only for
Care, loving, but never
Regret or unfaithful desire
Believe in fate
Understand that fear, somehow
Would disappear.

It came to my mind again...

               …. I felt my heart started to beat rapidly, gasping, desperate in searching for some air to breathe, I just looked at him being pulled away from me, when those guards began to hit him so brutally aggressive,
                “SAKURAI!!!” I screamed for his name, as I felt my tears started to fall down little by little.
                What other things can I do other than just to look at him being treated like that.
                I just can hear him groaning, trying so hard to handle the pain that he was feeling, I closed my eyes for sometimes, avoiding myself from looking that his painful attack, but how can I bare even if I don’t see anything, but I heard almost everything that I don’t want to hear…
                “LET ME GO!!!” I screamed again, trying to break myself free from whoever that was gripping me close in their arms, I pushed myself away in the other direction, but how can I be able to do that when both of them were so strong enough to even care about anything other than just,
                I looked at them for a while, before I turned my gaze back towards Sho, “DON’T HURT HIM ANYMORE!!!” I screamed, but my voice, it seemed like it was unheard, when they just did what they feel like doing to him.
                I took a deep breath,
                I don’t want to see him suffer anymore,
                I keep on telling myself over and over again, as I took a deep breath, “I’LL DO IT!!” I screamed but they still can’t hear me,
                I bit my lips, “STOP!!!!!!!!” I shouted again, so loudly, when all of them….
                 just looked at me.
                “I’LL DO IT!! I’LL DO IT!!” I screamed once again.
                I looked at Sho, who was bleeding there, how I wish I could be there next to him, curing it even if it’s just a little,
                but then again, how can I?
                I looked at him, when he just smiled to me,
                I felt my tears dropped down once again, when I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath,
                even though how I don’t want to be doing this, even though how I just want to be with him, I believe this is the right thing to do.
                Don’t even bare looking at him being slay like that again, I opened my eyes, as I looked at him again,
                “What is it, Yumi?” my uncle asked me,
                I had a small smile across my face, feeling a little regret thinking about doing this, but I was sure that it was the right thing to do,
                “I’ll marry him,” I said, when my uncle just smiled, he walked closer and caress my cheek gently, “Are you sure, Yumi?” he asked me, when I just closed my eyes and nodded my head,
                “Only if you promise me one thing,” as I felt him touching my cheek, turning my gaze towards the man I love, directly into his gruesome eyes,
                He sniffed my cheek, “What is it,” breathing just so lustfully, irritating, I looked away, but he still make me look at his pitiful eyes,
                I felt myself began to unsteadily breathing, I bite my lips a little, and looked at Sho for a little while, telling him how sorry I am for doing this, but I have to do it.
                I took a deep breath,
                “What is it, my princess?” he said, when he kissed my cheek, I avoid myself, but he just slapped my face,
                “NO!!” Sho screamed, when one of the man who was standing next to him, kicked him again.
                “STOP IT!!!” I screamed again, when my uncle Takuya just looked at me, “Tell me now, Yumi,” he said, when he slapped my face gently, but how can I looked away from Sho.
                He hold my face, “I don’t like it when I’m talking to someone but that person is not paying any attention to what I AM SAYING!” he said, with a little laugh, he slapped my face again.
                I tried to stand still,
                “I’ll marry him, if you promise not to touched him again,” I told him, who was expecting me to marry his only son, a child without any mother, I just nodded my head,
                “If you promise not to harm him,” I said, when he just nodded his head for a few times, “That’s your wish, my dear?” he said, when he touched my face, I just nodded my head,
                “Yes,” I told him when he just smiled and walked towards Sho, he gripped his t-shirt and pulled him up, he looked at him, when he laughed again, “She’s going to be mine,” he told Sho, and without hesitating a little, Sho spits on the ground,
                he looked at him, “I’ll save her from you,” Sho told him that, when he spits again, directly on his face.
                Takuya wiped his face, when he looked at his man, “Take care of this guy,” when he turned around, walking towards me, and pulled me in his arms.
                “SHO!!!!!” I screamed again, when I saw them doing the same thing they did before again.

Monday, 14 January 2013


Ola, Konnichiwa! Hello! :)
How are all of you doing today??
Yeahh, I hope everything is alright. ;)
Things are just chilling, trying to finish two videos for
Sakurai Sho's birthday...

But I suddenly found one picture and make me wonder..

Even if Arashi is one of the biggest super star in Japan, but aren't they still just a regular men?
Won't they feel the same way like any other men does?
That's my point..
I don't think so if they are so famous, they don't feel like how others feel.
I'm sure there's still some ticklish part somewhere on their body too..

Hey, they might be busy,
but they still need women in their life. ;)

Ya see, even he agrees. ;)


Sunday, 13 January 2013

Equation 22 : Time

Counting the day

Each second fades away
Time won't be here
Not to stay
Each minute won't ever delay
Date changed a day
But it still not shattered away
The feeling of your love
Sacred of your passion
Somehow, it's still
Exist in a heart
Even how, I
Still hiding behind
Underneath a wounded heart
A ruthless skin of
Desire, or sympahthy, 
Was just alone,
All through the darkest night
You're still there,
Right by my side,
Only wishing for just one
Promise me, love,
Don't you go,
Or ever say goodbye.


Saturday, 12 January 2013

Equation 21 : Upon Love.

Hoping for, just
close your eyes, and
Trying to understand
What was a,
The situation was
Why wouldn't I
Figure how can we
Might have forgotten 
Forgotten what was when
Why it was written?
Written there to be seen
Heard or even listen?

Even how much we
We don't figure
Everything upon each other
Knowing how much it really
Really meant in a life
The softest whisper

How beautiful was your smile
Though shadows do fades
Fading away from sight
Used to be seen
Your image will still be there
Closed deep in a,
Of love that would never
Ever meant to,
Or even disappear

A love for you will last,


Thursday, 10 January 2013

Beast With a True Love

                Somewhere in the human world, there are two men that have been friends, who never splits up, even if whatever things happened between the two of them.
                Sho, a simple guy, a good hunter, yet have a soft heart. Masaki, a gorgeous guy, would get every girls attention with his smile, but he’s just too cruel to be forgiven most of the time.

Somehow, their life changed after a girl, Miyuki, walked into their world. . . . .


Will I be able to
Keeping a promise to you
Will hold my love
No matter what might just
Might just happen to my solitary life
Even if I go 

and will never return
My heart will forever ache
My tears won't ever fade
If a love from you
Leaving me astray.

Sho leaned closer to Miyuki’s body, touching her lips, he closed his eyes in disappointment  with what had happened, “Forgive me, my love," he whispers, feeling the tears that was hiding behind his eyes trembled down, one by one, he had a short sigh, "I really don’t mean to let you go,""I love you my love," he whispers in her ear.

The stars shines bright again
When I see you right there
Do you still remember

Our last kiss
Some time ago

Wanting you closer to my love
Come back to me

 and please don't
Don't let my love go.

“Remember me,” he told her, when she smiled to him behind her mask, “I will always will do,” she replied, as he held her hand, giving it a little kiss, he looked at her and smiled, “I will find you even if the earth turns around,” he smiled to her, "Or even if life turns to gray,"
She smiled to him, “Thank you,” touching his cheek, as Masaki pulled her closer, and they share a one last kiss before they say goodbye.

Even if I have you here next to me
Somehow the past memories were still there
Whispering for my love
Was it still engraved inside my heart?
Will I ever find you?
Just once again?
Or might just
Forget about you?

“Do you regret knowing me?” Sho asked. “No” she said, “Do you love me?” he asked her again, but Sho had a small sigh, looking to the side even though it was at the darkest night, he can still see her beautiful face, he looked at her once again,
 "Do you love Masaki too?" he asked her, as at that time, she felt her heart was skipping beat.

                How will this love triangle end? Will their friendship ends because of that? Will she ever make up her mind?


Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Equation 20 : Love Triangle

Though how,
Still I,
Trying to understand

What life, 
words meant not to confound
Hoping to see
Even though how, 
only left for
What else was there
Written to be read
but praying to forget
How only can a heart
Disobey promises,
that was never meant to
How was it to
Confront a rigid time
Decision has to be done
Choosing an only one
But if its two,
it was still in a heart
Close an eye
Looking at the brightest sight
Now, would know
Won’t be living a lie.


Sunday, 6 January 2013

Equation 19 : Unforgiving Mistake

What’s the words
Should I even care
Bother to be next to you
Thinking of a time
Where were you
You weren't there

How should I believe
How can I ever reject
Forgiving a mistake
Unfaithful promises
Won’t bother to remember again
Won’t ever be
Thinking about you in my life

Through year’s time had passed
Never notice a thing
Realizing a single mistake
Never have felt anything
A love disagreement
Was just hypnotizing

Why should I bother
For a love
That was not true
Even if I know
How your whispers
Tormented a heart

Tearing it apart
Without any sympathy.


Saturday, 5 January 2013


Sorry, i just feel like writing this because I just can't take it anymore thinking about all of this.
It's true that maybe I've known Arashi since the year 2000,
And still loving them until today,
But when I really think about it,
I'm scared to love them.
I used to get excited to meet other Arashians,
But now, I'm just scared to even think of seeing them.
For what I've done among the other fans.
I feel like, other than loosing friends,
I've felt ashamed to even think about loving Arashi anymore.
Maybe I'm just one in the gazzilions of other Arashians now...
But I'm still scared.
I just feel like complaining to myself..
Silly me..


Friday, 4 January 2013

Just Smile.

Even if I
Still standing here
Evading away shadows
I still wanted to move
Moving further forward
Even though I
Still can't find
Finding any way
To get out from
Getting away 
Couldn't bare anymore
Even more I
Still praying for light
To shine down my life
I still see you
Your beautiful smile
Even if I
Can't be with you
Through a life
All I'm asking for
Even how I
Still see your shadow
Wrapped it in my life
Smile forever
I'll love you
Even if I
Still know that
You won't ever
 Won't ever be mine
But please just,
Please just Smile.


Thursday, 3 January 2013

Sacrifice ( very short / spontaneous fiction ;) )

( Everything written here is just something that spontaneously came out from my mind. There's no starting or anything.. Arigato ;) )

               … He hold my hand, looking deeply into my eyes, he touched my cheek and smiled, “Kymmy,” he called for my name, when I felt he gently kissed my forehead, holding the tip of my chin, I was dazzled by how gorgeous he was, and how beautiful his smile that always make my life brighter each second day, passed by,
                “Yes, Masaki?” I answered, as I felt him holding my hand,
                “Kymmy,” he called my name once again, somehow making me much more curious on what was he trying to say,
                I looked at him, without blinking my eyes,
                “What is it?” I asked him, but he had a small laugh,
                I lifted my eyebrow up, as I turned around, feeling a little unsatisfied with what he was doing to me then, “Fine,” I replied him, when suddenly, I felt him wrapping both of his arms around my waist, and kissing my cheek from the side, he slowly let one side of his hand go, but,
                “Kymmy,” he whispers to my ear,
                I felt my heart started to beat, a little harder as each second pass by, when he lifted his hand up, holding a small black box, I felt his breathing so close to my ear,
                What is this?  I wonder all on my own,
                He caress my cheek against his, “Open it for me,” he whispers again, when I changed my gaze, looking at him deep in his eyes, “What is this?” I said, he just kissed my nose,
                “Open it for me,” he said, when I turned to looked at the box that was so close to me, I slowly lifted my hands up, and opens it, but why am I closing my eyes?
                Why can’t I be brave enough to look?
                When suddenly, I heard him whispers to my ear,
                “Kymmy,” he called for me, gently as he can possibly be, he took a deep breath, but before I could answer him, he hold my hand,
                “Will you spend your entire life with me?”
                “Forever be by my side?” he asked.
                I fell silent, as I slowly opens my eyes and saw what was he holding.
                I just looked at him, “Masaki,” I said, with words that can’t really be heard, he looked at me deep into my eyes, “Will you be my wife?” he asked me again.
                At that second, I felt my heart skipped a beat, jumping in joy, I looked to the side for a second, wiping away the tears that suddenly dropped down from my eyes, I look at him once again, 
                “Are you…” I said, trying to finish my sentence, but he hold both of my hand, bending a little lower down, he touched my forehead against him, “Will you?” he asked me once again, when I looked at him,
                and nodding my head once, “I do,” I replied him, when he smiled again, “Thank you,” as he took out the ring and slides it in my finger, I hold him so close as our lips touched against each other, “I love you, Masaki,” I told him, when he kissed me once again, “I love you too, Kymmy,” he replied.
                At that time, how I wish it won’t end.
                How I pray it will never end,
                But after a few days had passed, it was the day both of us had been waiting for. The biggest day of our life, I was a little excited at that time,
                “This is a little nervous,” I told myself when some people around me were putting make up on my face, setting up my hair before I put on that beautiful gown,
                “You’re going to be a beautiful bride,” his mother told me, when I just smiled to her, “Thank you,” I told her,
                Strangely, he was supposed to be there at one in the evening for the ceremony, but, it was already one five minutes, he’s still not here yet,
                I took a deep breath when I pressed the dial button on my mobile phone,
                After a few ring, he picked it up,
                “Masaki,” I said, when I gave him a call, when I heard him on the other side of the line, I had a small sence that he was,
                “Yes, Kymmy, darling,” he said, and I felt to relief that he was there even though at the other side of Tokyo, he’s still there.
                I took a deep breath, “Where are you,” and that was the first question I asked him, when suddenly there was something wrong with the phone line, I can still hear him, but it was breaking up, “Masaki?” I called for him,
                “Yes, dear,” I heard him reply, “I’m on my way there,” he told me, when I closed my eyes a little,
                “The traffic is a little hectic right now,” he said, when I just nodded my head, “Be safe,” I told him, when I felt my heart wasn’t at its calm, at all.
                “I will,” he told me, when both of us hung up the phone call,
                “Be safe,” I said on my own.

                Outside, Sho walks in at the wedding, when he looked at his watch, “It’s already two thirty,” he said, “Shouldn’t everyone be eating already?” he felt a little funny but a little weird when the guests were still waiting for the bride and groom,
                he lifted his eyebrows up,
                Now where would they be, he said, when suddenly, someone rushed inside the hall, “THERE’S AN ACCIDENT!” that fellow yelled, making everyone there turned their gaze towards him, Sho felt a little,

                “What?” he said, when he heard what that fellow just said.

                I was still waiting for him to be there, but why is my heart felt like this? Why is everything doesn’t seemed to be right?
                Suddenly, Mrs Aiba walked inside the room, but why was she crying?
                “Mom,” I called for her, when she walked closer to me and hold me so close, “Kymmy,” she called for me, leaning so close to my shoulder, I caress her, “What’s wrong?” I asked when I felt her trying to take a deep breath, before she could speak, she looked at me, with her eyes still can’t stop crying,
                “It’s Masaki,” she said, and I felt my heart skipped a beat once again
                Looking at her crying like that, I was sure that the news that she is going to tell me, wasn’t really,
                “He got into an accident,” she finally manage to finished her line, but I,
                “Masaki,” I said his name softly, I closed my mouth, and slowly fell down, sitting on yhe ground, I felt the tears that was hiding behind my eyes started to flows down, while I covered my face with both side of my hand,
                I felt someone hold my hand, and looking up, it wasn’t him,
                “I’ll take you to the hospital,” he said.
                I looked at him, “Sho…” I said, but he just hold my hand, taking me out from there, “Let’s go,” he said.

                While at the hospital, I went to the nurse, “Please,” I told her, trying so hard to hide away the tears, but I didn’t manage to, “Please, let me see him,” I told her again, when she looked at me, who was still wearing the beautiful wedding gown that Masaki chose for me to wear on our wedding day, she nodded her head, “This way,” she told me, taking me towards the ICU.
                Inside there, I saw him.
                He was wounded everywhere. Blood stained, scars, it seems like I couldn’t recognize him anymore, but,
                “Kymmy,” he called for my name, when I run towards him, “Masaki,” I leaned close to him, trying to avoid touching him, I don’t want him to feel any pain,
                he touched my hand, “Kymmy,” he called for my name once again, he wiped away the tears on my face, “Don’t cry,” he told me, when I looked at him, “How can I not cry when I’m looking at you like this?” I asked him, when he tried to pulled me close, but I can see that he was in a terrible pain, I shake my head, “Don’t” I said.
                I don’t want to see him in any pain, he smiled a little, “Come here,” he said, calling me to get a little closer to him,  as I did, he kissed my cheek, “Don’t be sad, Kymmy,” he told me, holding my hand, “I still love you,” he told me, when the nurses walked closer towards our direction,
                “I’m sorry, miss,” she said, when Masaki had a little laugh, “She’s my wife,” he told the nurse, when she just nodded her head, “Mrs Aiba,” she called for me, I just looked at her, “Yes?” when a few Medical Assistance started to take off his coat and everything that he was wearing, I looked at Masaki, who was still trying to smile, even though he was in pain, but it seemed like for my sake, he tried so hard to smile, “Ouch,” I heard him say, when I run towards him, “Can I?” I asked them to give me permission to take what he was wearing myself, when they nodded their head, “Okay,” one of them said.
                I smiled to him a little, and looked at Masaki, “Help me,” I said, when he smiled to me, nodding his head, “Okay,” he said, when I pulled him up, hold him close in my arms, I took everything off nicely.
                I felt him jerked a little when the clothes accidently touched his scar, “I’m sorry,” I said, when I wore him what he was supposed to wear.
                The nurse did told me that he have to go for an immediate operation because the accident that he had just now, he had a terrible injury inside his head, I looked at him after I tied the clothes up, I kissed his lips,
                “Be strong, Masaki,” I told him, when he touched my face, “Whatever happen, Kymmy,” he said, kissing my lips, he looked at me deeply into my eyes, “I will still love you,” he told me,  when the nurse open the curtains, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Aiba,” she called me, when I looked at her,
                “We need to take him to the OT,” she told me, when I just nodded my head, I stood up from the bed, I looked at him,
                “Be safe, my love,” I told him, kissing his lips once again, he touched my cheek, with a smile on his face, “I love you,” he told me, when the nurse pushed the bed he was sitting on to the other direction, “I love you too,” I told him, and that was the last word I heard from him, before he went into the OT,
                I closed my eyes, “Be strong, Kymmy,” I told myself.
                “Be strong,” I let out a long breath.

                After two hours have passed, it seemed like the light on the OT was still turned on, that means everything inside wasn’t done yet,
                I looked at the door, I kept on asking myself, was he doing alright inside there? Is everything just okay?
                When suddenly, the light, turned off.
                I felt my heart was about to stop, when I saw the Doctor that was handling his case, came out from the OT.
                I stood up and looked at him, “Dr,” I said, when he just looked down, he took a deep breath, “I’m really sorry,” he said,
                I ran towards the OT room and saw him lying there, but it seemed like he was still smiling,
                even though just a little.
                I closed my mouth, as I felt, my heart stopped at that time,
                I fell down on the ground,
                “Masaki,” I said, when I felt my tears start to dropped down once again.
                My heart started to ache,
                “Masaki,” I called for his name once again,
                loosing someone that really are for you, and love you for who you are, how can everything lke this be easy for me to accept everything?
                How can I survive living anymore?
                Sho lifted me up, “Kymmy,” he called for my name, when I just looked at him, I turned around and was about to walked away, when the nurse come to me,
                “Mrs Aiba,” she called for my name, I just looked at her who was holding a letter and a small box in her hand, I just looked at her, “Mr Aiba gave this to you,” she said, when I took what she gave me, and I ran out from there.
                Sho looked at her, “Sorry,” he said, appoligizing on my behalf, he nodded his head, “Thank you,” he told her, when she nodded her head, “I understand,” when Sho ran outside to case after me.

                I can’t handle anything anymore, as I pressed the lift inside the hospital towards the up direction for a few times, the lift opens up, as I went inside and closed it down.

                “Kymmy!” Sho screamed, calling for my name, he looked around for me, but if possible, I just wanted to be on my own.

                I reached at the upper level of the building, on top of the building where’s there’s no one, I sat at the edge of it, I opened the box, “Our ring,” I said, when I looked at both of our wedding ring, I put both of them on one of my finger, “I won’t lose this, I promise,” I said on my own, when I took the letter, and opened it,

                Dear Kymmy, 
                My sweetest love. It’s me, Masaki. Haha, I don’t know why, but I just feel like writing something to you, even though today is our wedding day.
                Do you remember when the first time we met, on the street of Tokyo about a year ago? How you were trying to case someone who stole your hand bag, and how much you thought I was one of them, and you started to hit me with your beautiful small, yet too fragile fingers? Telling me how much you hate me, for stealing it? But I guess fate did brought us together even though that was the way, I’m still happy to get a chance to know you.
                I’m happy when I’m with you.
              But for these few days, I’m starting to get a little hunch, even though how much I want to live my entire life with you, how I wish to have a family with you, how I want to be love by you,
               Somehow, I know that I won’t be able to…
                Kymmy, if anything ever happen to me, if anything ever happen in between you and I, I only ask you for just one thing,
                Sakurai Sho is a nice guy. He always talks to me about you. Even though he can be a little pain sometimes, but I know, deep inside his heart, he’s a good man. He can be a good man for you.
                Be with him.
              Let him try to love you once again.
                Please, Kymmy. I only pray for your happiness with someone who can take a good care of you.
                I will love you forever. You’ll always be in my heart.
                I love you so much.
                I closed my eyes for a few moments after I finished reading that letter, “Masaki,” I whispered for his name,
          “I will be with you, Masaki,” I said, keeping the letter, as I stood up.
                I know that even though I used to spend a few months of my life to be with Sho, but after he started to remember everything, as he began to recovered, I was devastated in how he treated me again then, how can I forgive him for always yelling to me, comparing me to something that was just useless in a life, and blaming me for everything that I didn’t even do,
              Just tell me how can I accept all of that?
              I took a deep breath, as I touched my belly, “We’ll be with Papa soon,” as I closed my eyes, I was planning to give him a surprise, but for what has happen, I know he only can hear my whispers.
            I sighed a little and walked closer to the end of the building.
           I looked at the earth way down below,
            I am at the 9th floor of this hospital, and I was sure,
                I was ready to do this.
                I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath once again,
             “I’ll be with you, Masaki,” I repeated again,
               when suddenly,
                “Kymmy!” I heard someone screamed for my name and pulled me back, further away from there,
                I looked at him,
               That isn’t,
                but before I could finished my thought, he slapped my face,
                “What the hell are you trying to do?!” he asked me, when I just smiled, “I want to be with him,” I said, when Sho pulled me closer to him,
               “YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF?!” he yelled to my face again, but I was still smiling,
                “I want to be with him,” I relied.
                Sho just shakes his head, “He would be disappointed in you,” he told me, when I just looked at him, “Why?” I asked.
                “He just passed away, and you wanted to kill yourself?”
                He sighed, “I thought you’re smart enough, Kymmy,”
                I raised my eyebrow,
                “What are you saying?”
                He looked at me, “What am I saying?” he asked, when he had his biggest laugh, “What am I saying?” he said, when he grabbed both side of my arms,
                “Masaki just died and you want to kill yourself?” he shakes me, when I looked at him, “He would CRY INSTEAD of being HAPPY to see you doing all of THIS!” he yelled to me.
                But I looked away, I took a deep breath, 
               “But I think I'd rather do this,” I had a little sigh,  “than be living without him by my side,” I said, looking away, but before I could finish what I wanted to say, Sho pulled me close in his arms,
                I pushed him away, “Get off me!” and somehow, my hand automatically slapped his face.
                He just looked at me,
                “Be with me, Kymmy,” he told me.
                But I shake my head, “No, Sho,” I told him, holding my belly once again, I looked to the side with a small sigh, “No,” I said, when he touched my belly as well,
                “I’ll take care of him with you,” he told me, when I had a small laugh,
                “He’a not your baby,” I told him, “He’s not,” I said, with a small smile, I turned around, and walked towards the end again, “Good bye, Sho,” I told him,
                Suddenly, I felt him wrapped both of his arms around me, “Don’t do it, Kymmy,” he whispers to my ear, “Just don’t,” he said again,
                I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes, “But…” he turned me around, he took out something from his pocket,
                “Kymmy,” he called for my name when I just looked at him, “Be with me,” he said, when he hold a ring in his hand.
                I fell silent again.
                “But the baby isn’t yours,” I said,
                He just hold my hand, “I’ll take care of him with you,” he told me, when he hold me just so close in his arms.
                I took a deep breath, and remember again what he wrote inside the letter just now,
                                Be with him. Let him try to love you once again.
                “Sho,” I said, I felt my tears flows down once again.

                After a few years passed, even though how hard I tried to accept him in my life, but it seemed like I managed to, I knocked on his door,
                “Mr. Sakurai,” I called for his name when he just looked at me, with  alittle smile, “Yes, Kymmy,” he replied me when suddenly, someone pushed the door open and ran towards him,
                “Papa!” my son, Mitsui ran towards Sho, with a very happy face. His age is already three years old, but when he was born, he first person he saw was him, Sakurai Sho, and it seemed like he was very happy to be in his life, to be right by his side.
                “Mitsui,” I called for him, with a little frown when he just looked at me with a laugh, “Papa,” he hide behind Sho.
                I look at the two of them, “Both of you,” I had a small smile.
                Sho looked at me, “How’s my baby?”
                I smiled and walked to him, while touching my belly, “Your baby?” I bend down and kissed his lips, as he touched my belly as well, “How’s my baby here,” he kissed my belly, when I just smiled to him,
                “Your twin here is doing fine,” I smiled, when he kissed her lips.
                He hold me close in his arms, “I love you, my princess,” when I just look at him, “Princess?” I asked him when he kissed my lips,
                “My beloved love,” he said, when I leaned close and kissed his lips,
                “I love you,” I told him, when both of us smile.
                Even though at first Sho and I used to love each other back then, but after some misunderstanding were listed, I know that he wasn’t the guy that meant for me in my life. I did move on when one day I met Masaki. He was a very sweet, a gentleman with the most beautiful smile.
                I would never thought that our relationship ended in that kind of way, but maybe it’s true what people say, fate might brings you to someone special, but that doesn’t mean that love can stay forever.
                Even he’s no longer here, but every day when I wake up and I saw Mitsui laying right next to me, his face reflection always remind me of him.
                I really hope that he’s happy even though he’s at the other side of the actual world, I’m really happy to be with Sho right now, but I know deep inside my heart, even if it’s just a little bit of space inside,
                I still keep our past memories, our friendship and love, everything is still here.


( I can't believe while writing this, i almost finish one box of tissue.. hee hee.. ;) )