Friday, 29 November 2013


Well, hello...
Ah, I don't know how I should start today...
But sure, everyone do say that blog is where you write how you actually feel.
If you don't have anyone you can tell in the world..
I guess this is where you express everything that you feel in your heart isn't it?

Hmm, It has been almost 6 years I've been facing this on my own.
It's not that my family didn't help me through, but how can I live like this long enough alone?
I'm already 24.
I didn't manage to do anything at all.
I got a job, but sadly they wanted to fire me because of this disease, what other thing should I do?
Sure, where would there be a place for people like me in this world.
Maybe today I still can see the earth where I;m standing.
But what happen if I no longer able to see anything else anymore?
Who would be there for me??

Sorry. I'm just worried about myself.
I'm afraid to live in the world anymore.
I'm afraid to look anywhere anymore.

God, please give me strength to move on...


Equation 54 : Dimmed.

How the light, once were seen
Dimmed, and Disappear,
Within single second
Passed, time passing by
Moments, used to believe
Poetry never portrays
Any emotion for you,
Love that was here,
No longer occurs,
Tearing a heart,
Without any words,
Obliging whispers,
Single hour.
How hard I tried,
Denying fear, over coming truth
How I understand, always known,
My love for you, are always there,
Never said,
Hidden away,
True identity,
Shame of self,
How do I ever see,
When the world once bright as day light,
Turns to the darkest,
(C) 2013 Kytty Sakuraiba


Friday, 22 November 2013

Equation 53 : Beautiful

Whisper, Heard only,
Once again, Forfeiting time
Recalling back, Remembrance
Seconds passed, Long enough
To memorize, The love,
 So true,
 The earth ground, Trembles,
You’re no longer here,
Left alone, standing alone
A wounded heart, Somehow,
Cured, Even if,
Your shadow, Fades,
Never here, Anymore,
But living a Life, Alone,
Without you,  Reminiscences still,
Even through the darkest night,
I still see,
How beautiful your smile was,
How luxurious your eyes shines,
With the softest touch,
Even if you’re no longer, near,
But memories, Engraved
Carved deep inside, Won’t able to
Forget, How you
Embrace a heart, An eternal love,
Won’t ever say,

(C) 2013 Kytty Sakuraiba 


Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Beast with a true Love : Chapter 12


            After a while she was enjoying her good night sleep, dreaming of things how she wishes to see, she smiled looking at the beautiful, freshly cut green field, filled with flowers that already bloom gracefully.
            She touched the beautiful white lily she was standing aside. She closed her eyes with a little sigh, hoping that spring won’t end as fast as it should, though it will be heaven as they said so in the summer’s day that will begin within few more days.
            She walks towards the sun that was setting down in front of her sight. At that time, even though she was stepping, she felt like herself was floating on the thin air. She breathes in the clean air that surrounds her.
            But why does everything that she felt somehow vanish without any trace. She was left alone in the darkness that even she can’t explain if there was any story behind it that meant to be unfolded.
            She opened her eyes, but still sees nothing in front of her sight.
            “Hello?” she said, when she only heard echoes of her own voice that repeats until there was nothing more.
            She touched her skin to make sure if she was still alive, but why the temperature was so warm in this dark cold place she doesn't even know she was standing. She covers her eyes, withholding the fear that began to pile up in her heart, blurring the vision she can’t even see, she blinked her eyes that starts to dried up every second pass.
            She struggles herself to stand up straight, though she knows,
            “Oh,” she whined as she fell down on the cold ground. She felt her heart agitated as it her hot skin ran against the coldness.
            She saw a glimpse of light.
            She reached out, hoping that someone was there.
            “Help,” she tries to call out, but nothing was heard.
            She felt her temperature increases, as suddenly, she couldn’t breathe as she should be any longer.
            She tries to hold herself together.
            “Save me,” she tries to speak once again, but only echoes she could hear. If only there was somebody there, nobody would possibly hear her.
            Somehow, after sometimes struggling to keep herself alive even though she does not know where she was at that time, she manages to grasp for some air.
            The light begins to fades away.
            Her body couldn’t manage to hold it any longer, she tries to reach out for the light again. She felt her lips that already dried up, she accidentally bit herself.
            She felt something slowly drips from the wound she had created herself; she moves her arm, reaching out for herself to see what that was.
            She tasted what was dripping down from her lips, and finally, she knows that she’s bleeding
            She tries to stop it from coming out, but the more she pressed the wound, the worse she felt the pain, the more it dripped out every second time passed.
            She looked at the light that somehow started to fades away,
            No, hoping that the light she saw just now would still be there, but after a while, it turns so dark, she couldn’t even see herself any longer,
            She felt her body weaken,
            Save me,
            she calls for help, but before anything happen, she heard footsteps somehow was so close to her, but eventually, she just closed her eyes, collapsed on the cold ground.


            After sometimes, she was surprise that she was still alive. She felt a little quaint as she opened her eyes slightly and looked at her environment.
            The light of the setting sun touch her face, she just looked away.
            She wondered herself. He raised her fingers slowly, moving towards her wound she had a while ago, and she was startled that it wasn't there anymore
            Why doesn’t she felt any more pain that she had just now?
            She blinked her eyes several times, as the light reflects on her soft brown eyes; she touched her skin,
            My temperature
she thought, with her eyes wide open. Feeling that her cracked up skin that was burning hot a moment ago wasn’t like that anymore, she touched the earth ground that was so cold where ever she was just now.
            She took a deep breath. She felt like she wasn’t there anymore. She smiled as she was able to breathe again, somehow delighted that she wasn’t in her nightmare any more, but…
            She pushed herself up with all the strength she had left inside of her, running her fingers through her messed up hair.
            She looked down towards herself,
            She wondered, touching the soft silk white base with beautiful Sakura flowers all over it..
            She looked away for a while,
            Why am I wearing this? Where am I?
            She asked herself, feeling a little strange wearing what she was wearing. She don’t even know where she was.
            She felt the soft breeze touch against her warm skin,
            Somehow, she realizes that what was actually on her wasn’t really the kind of consumption that people in the new era would still wear. She doesn’t even know if this kind of material still exists at this time.
            She stood up, and looked at everybody around her,
            “They are so beautiful,” she said to herself, looking at those young women walking in their beautiful outfit, their skin look so natural, how it glows against the sun light that was glimmering bright., as if it was so fragile, how innocent their smile was.
            Miyuki took a deep breath,
            maybe they can tell me where I am,
            she thought, smiling alone, she walks towards them who was resting at the garden in front of her. She stopped in front of them, calling out for them,
            “Hello, miss?”
            she called for them several of times, but they didn’t even notice her existence and continue with their conversation,
            “Miss Fukijo, you know what I heard,” one of them in blue spoken out, when the one she called look at her with a smile across her lips, she licked her red lips, “What is it, Aimi. Is there anything that I should know about? Anything you’re not telling me?” she asked the person who was sitting beside her. Miyuki widen her eyes,
            Wow, she is beautiful,
            she thought, as she stepped aside. Maybe both of them were in a serious conversation she should not interrupt, but she could wait for a moment,
             Aimi looked away, feeling guilty with whatever she wanted to say, but from her face exression, she knows that the woman in front of her wants to know,
            “Tell me,” Fujiko somehow said gently, but her heart was eager to know what was going on.            The other woman closed her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath before she actually gave Fukijo a smile that actually meant the other way round.
            Miyuki raised her eyebrow,
            What is she trying to tell her?
            Somehow, she wanted to know as well.
            “It’s about Tamiko.,” she finally said it after taking sometimes thinking how to tell her, when the other one leaned closer,
            “And?” she asked decently, but inside her heart, she have no more patients to wait any longer. Aimi looked at her, with a short breath, she knows that Fujiko might either fell silent or get hot tempered, but she ought to know about it this biggest matter in town somehow.
             Aimi stared at her but caught a glimpse of another man standing far away from both of them, she chuckled in a short time.
            Fujiko raised her eyebrow,
            “Oh, Aimi, you know I don’t like waiting. And with you acting up like this, it makes the waiting much more worse than it was before,” she said, not bothering to look at the person who was sitting in front of her any longer, but Aimi tries to put herself together.
            She grasp for some air before she continues.
            “It’s Tamiko,” she mention that woman’s name once again, when Fujiko glared at her,
            “I know it’s about her, and what’s actually going on with that pre mature girl anyway?!” she released her tension, but the other woman looked away,
            “She’s running away,”
            Fujiko widen her eyes,
            “With who?”
            “Masa…” Aimi tried to speak but her words got stuck just there,
            She felt sweats started to dripped down slightly behind her back, she gripped her fist tighter. Why is it so hard for her to breathe suddenly? Why was it so hard for her to even tell one story?
            Miyuki looked at her,
            What is wrong with this person anyway?
            She wondered, but her heart is telling her to move forward but, she knows that…
            “She’s running with,” she tries so hard to finish one sentence,
            Fujiko felt her heart is burning to know,
            “Masa… ki…” she looked down, feeling that the man in front of her moving closer to her,
            Fukijo rolled her eyes,
            “Masaki who?”
            “A… ki…,” she manage to say until that, but her fellow friend widen her eyes again, “Aki…,” she looked to the other side and think for sometimes, she bit the end of her lips, she felt her mouth opens out wwhen she finally figure out who,
            “Masaki Akiya…” she said, when she turned her gaze towards Aimi, as she looked up with both of her eyes looking at her was bleeding,
            “ma…” Aimi finished her sentence.
            Fujiko widen her eyes,
            “Aimi!!” she suddenly shrieked out, she stood up, and saw her friend falls on the table at the quiet garden, bleeding out continuously, she started to freak out as she felt her heart began to shrink,
            What is this? What is this?!
            She asked herself, when she turns around and ran directly towards Miyuki, she opens her eyes wide,
            Miyuki shouted as she tries to move away, but somehow, it was impossible. She saw Fujiko running straight towards her direction; she closed her eyes when that woman ran towards her way, screaming her heart out, feeling terrified with whatever has happen.
            Wait! Wait! Relax, Miss Fujiko! Relax!
            Miyuki repeated those words over and over again, but it was unworthy. She couldn’t hear her screaming as if like she was at the other side of the universe!
            But somehow, before she even get close, Miyuki fell down on the ground again with both of her eyes sealed shut.
            She took a deep breath as she opens her eyes,
            Where am I?
            She looked around when she knows she wasn’t at where she was some time ago. She had a small frowned across her face.
            What is this?
            She wondered, feeling strange, but…
            Suddenly, she felt the earth she was sitting on began to shudder from behind her back. She felt her heart jolt within second; she turns her gaze towards the other side when she saw several of kids were running towards her direction.
            Her mouth fell down, but somehow, she felt silent.
            She was startled when she saw them were getting so much closer towards her direction, she tries to pushes herself up, but she couldn’t.
            but before she could finish whatever she was thinking, the only thing she could possibly do was only hold herself together. She took a deep breath as she felt that they were only next to her. She closed her eyes,
            Please don’t,
            when she felt them ran beside her, with the ir fun laughter, she covers herself flat on the ground, feeling terrified if something would happen, she closed her eyes tighter, blocking herself to see what was heading her direction, her heart stopped. She didn’t feel her pulse beating any longer.
            Take me out from here!! Take me out from this place!!!!
            She shouted to alone. Losing control of herself, she felt cold chills rushed down her spine. Her brain broken up within second, she doesn’t know what other thing she could do.
            She hold herself together,
            but suddenly…
            she heard someone calling for her…
            After sometimes, she pushed herself up again, but…
            She fell down on the ground for another time as she heard that voice calling for her again. Her legs couldn’t bear holding herself any longer. Her heard suddenly ache when she heard footsteps coming closer to her direction. She closed her eyes shut,
            What is going oin?
            Miyuki tries to erase everything that she felt.
            The footsteps stops for a while, she tries to move but sadly, she was only able to blinks her eyes a couple of time,
            Who are you?
            She asked but, even she didn’t hear herself.
            She was puzzled up with her own thought that didn’t portrays anything, only questions and answers tangled in between spaces that was left in her thought,  She felt her heart race.
            She touched her chest, feeling her heart that was beating harder each second passed, she was still trying to ignore the pain that aches worse than how it was the last time.
            She looked around in the empty space.
            “Yuki,” she heard him whisper next to her ear. His cold breath felt warm as it touched against her skin, she felt his soft fingers gently descending from her cheek, lower down her neck, she took a deep breath.
            He inhale her beautiful scents.
“          “You smell so sweet,” he told her, when she felt his lips touched against her neck, he leads his tongue on her gentle skin.
            Miyuki closed her eyes tightly,
            “What are you doing?” she asked him, at the end her voice was heard.
            He smiled, kissing her neck again, she squinted shut her eyes, even though she can’t see him, she felt her fear for him began to tremble down.
            He holds her body close to him. She widens her eyes as she felt his strength against her, but she didn’t feel his,
            She turns around, only able to see his shadow even though he was so close to her, she felt her heart shrieked within second. She jerks herself off from his grip and tries to move away, but she was too weak to even lift up her hand,
            “Shh. Don’t go away. I want you to stay,”
            He licked his lips as he smells her odor rise up when her fear crumpled up in thousands tears that was still hidden behind her ego, he gripped her hair and pulled it behind. She screamed, resisting the pain she was feeling, she pushed tries to pushed one side of his hand that was holding her,
            “Let me go,” she plead for her mercy,”
            “Please,” she begged again. Her fear has overcome her self-image, she felt tears slowly fell down from her eyes,
            “I’ll make you mine,” she heard him whispered to her, gruesomely.
            “No,” she whispered.
            His eyes suddenly glows in red, he licked his lips, he just smiled, leaning closer to her, and bite her neck.
            “NO!!!” she screamed, couldn’t hold back the pain any longer, she felt him draining her blood little, by little.
            She falls flat on the ground, when she saw a glimmer of light from the other side of where she was laying, she tries to reach out,
            “Just let me go,” she whispers, and she didn’t see anything else anymore…

(C) 2013 Kytty Sakuraiba

Friday, 15 November 2013

Equation 26 : Reminiscences ( Edited. )

Open wound, bleeds
Once again
Though, how
It was only, just 
Words thatPortrays, Deepest
Emotion, Somehow,
Unfaithful, Lies,
 Never said, Only one,
The darkest, fear
The reality
Construct against, tears
Kept on, Dueling,
Tormented, heart,
Unaligned, withered away
Sympathy, or even
A ruthless feeling
Colliding up, together
Without any end
Once again,
Carry on, Forward
Won’t ever stop
Or ever prevent from
Shattered away
Just a mistake
Past memories,
Won’t ever erase,
Of an ancient,

(C) 2013 Kytty Sakuraiba