Sunday, 28 July 2013

Beast with a true Love : Chapter 8


                          -8-

   
Both of them had a laughter, as Sho smiled to the man in front of his eyes,
            “Seriously?” he asked Sho that was sitting back and relax on the couch he frequently sat at, he nodded,
            “Do I look like I’m kidding?” he asked Takuya, who is looking at him with a smirk across his lips, with his all time favorite, Mevius, cigarette slit in between two of his left hand fingers,
            “So,” he said, when Sho exchanged his glance from the other side towards his sight, Takuya gritted his teeth slightly, unbelieving with what he just heard, he smiled to Sho that was sitting beside him, he put the cigarette on the ash tray in front of him,
            “So, you’re telling me that now you’re in a university” Takuya said, trying to hold back his laughter, he only return Sho’s smile, with a glass of vodka that was served in his hand, he took a sip of it before they went any further.
            Sho nodded,
            “How am I supposed to be doing anything else?” he said.
            The other man lifted his shoulder up,
            “Stay forever fifteen?” he suggested, putting the glass down on the table, but Sho only had a small laughter,
            “Twenty seven,” he pointed it out.
            Takuya smiled to him,.
            “Twenty seven huh,” he repeated what Sho just told him, when he nodded his head again, “Yeah,” he replies him, when the man tapped his fingers on the couch that does not made any sound, he changed his vision towards the other side, “I’m pretty sure there’s a reason,” he said in a sudden, somehow, made Sho’s thought paused for a few second,
            “Reason?” he looked at Takuya, raising one side of his eyebrow, he took a deep breath as he looked at the woods that was already in flame at the fire place at the north side of the living room hall..
            His thought went somewhere else for a while, biting the end of his lips, as he took a deep breath before he gave the man an answer as he was looking at him anxiously.
            Even though how his personal life has been changing equally  through these pass years, it was possible for him to continue it perhaps with a career instead, but it seemed like his hunch to be in the university again got stronger when his scent told him about the one person he must me. The only one he should know, or at least has been waiting for to be seen.
            Miyuki Takeda.
            He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking back how that beautiful image, dazzling figure and how gentle she actually was.
            How he wasn’t sure if it was the right decision to be done for him to be close to her. Though they were not attached with each other, in a relationship closer to one another, but he felt that if he have her right next to him at least during the day light, he was sure enough that she was still in the right position, of a right man’s hand.
            He took a deep breath, as he slightly grasps his fist a little tense.
            I’ll keep you safe,
            he thought alone.
            But he was sure that his attendance to be  there with her was actually for another reason, apart from his desire to be with her, holding her close in his arms, though it was only just for a play, he know it was impossible for him to win her heart. Though he knows how much hers was crying out for his love,  what will happen if she really knows who he really was.
            No,
            he thought, shutting his eyes tighter, as he felt one of his nail perking in his own skin, but still he does not bother about that small matter.
            What he is still is.
            Maybe living his life with normal human being can be exhilarating most of the time, but also with the existence of his kind sometimes he thought it might not be the greatest thing in the world.
            He felt a glint of joy sheds on the blank sheet during that night.
            Though how the depression of being what he is, he was sure that the only thing that made him happy was only her smile.
            Miyuki,
            he whispers her name through his thought.
            At one point previously, it seemed like he knew that the moment when she gave him the first glance and thoughts that came across her mind was something that excite him.
            What was the exciting thing that happened in between them, perhaps maybe when they first time spoken to each other,

 **

            She walked at the side of the bleachers that wasn’t that old to be more exact, but was not that new either, she looked towards the sun that was setting down at the west side of Fukaya, she smiled a little thinking of how her day would end along side with the most beautiful view of the day light. How the colors, the intensity of light was just enough to make a sorrowful heart carved with a smile. How much it calms her heart, how she wishes that she was here with someone special to share the beautiful view of the most romantic light at the end of the glowing light on the beautiful blue sky everyone share with the same meaningful sensation of love.
            As if it would be as if a powerful symphony, a sonata, somehow was shedding behind, becoming more emotional and beautiful as it dies down.
            She shrugged a little.
            Even though how the ray of light seemed to be friendly, peaceful at most of times, she walked to the bleachers below her, as she slumped herself on it with a broken down heart,
            ”But I’m still on my own,” she whispers in a very soft tone as she felt the breeze suddenly flew across her skin, she felt her tears dropped down in one action. She shifted her position, trying not to make it obvious to anyone that was walking pass by there, she looked at the empty ground that she was stepping on at that time.
            Suddenly, she heard footsteps heading lower towards her direction. She raises her eyebrow’s up,
            J? the only name that came across her mind, but she wasn’t sure if it was him anyway because he did told her that his little sister got some activities to ask for his little favor.she was pretty sure that he would not bailed on his little sister, she took a deep breath and desicded to turn her head around, but with a speed of light, the wind blew right passed by her in an instant, she was devastated when she saw nothing behind hewecept for the fact crows flowned away towards it’s headed direction.
            She caress he outside of her lips gently with the tip of her point fingers,
            “It’s only birds,” she mumbled, when suddenly, she felt someone touchingoneside of her houlder with his finger, somehow made her headt jolt in a sudden rush.
            She looked towards the side,
            What is that, what is that?” she kept on asking herself as she opened her eyes wide.
            The person who touched her gave her a friendly smile,
            “I’m really sorry if I’ve disturbed you,” he said, as how she was wishing that the ray of dawn was not glomming away,  the light somehow fades her vision a little bit in delay.
            She closed her eyes for a few second,
            I know that voice, she old herself, trying to recall back the words he jsu said, but she only shakes her head,
            No,
 
           she thought alone. Was not hoping it to be the person that came across her mind, it was impossible for him to even say Hello to her with no reason to be sure of, she gritted her teeth against each other,
            It couldn’t be him,
            the words played again in her mind.
            She jumped in after a while of thought when she felt him touching her shoulder once again,
            “Please don’t kill me!” she shrieked without any further notice, feeling a little scared, perhaps with the death she had heard from the killer beast, she wasn’t even boter if it was a human who was touching her shoulder once again, she grabbed her bag pack and was on her move to hit whoever that was at her side,  when she felt him touching both sde of her shoulder,
            “Miss Yuki,” she heard his voice, called for her name.
            Her heart stopped for a few second,
            How did he know my name!! it shrieked on its own again.
            “Yuki.” She heard him calling for her name again, and that’s when she decided,
            He knows me. She thought. And with that reason, perhaps whoever in front of her has no intention to kill her anyway. Who would this worry her so much in the first place?
            she took a deep breath,
            Just look at whoever in front of you then, Yuki she told herself, as finally she decided to open her eyes, as with the glimmer light that was stll shining a little fades a little, she saw his beautiful smile, and how his eyes that was gazing through her eyes. She wanted to say a word, but somehow her heart aused for a few moment. She breathe solemnly, as her eyes couldn not stop blinking for a few times, she couldn’t believe who she saw in front of her eyes.
            “Suno…”  she tries to speak but somehow her pulse that was in an inconsistence flow merged along side with her  semi anxious emotion, she only stood still.
            Why is he in front of my eyes. Why is he here? She thought on her own.
            He smiled to her,
            “Yeah, I’m Sunohara,” he said.
            She nodded.
            “Hi, Sho,” she finally said, when he just smiled to her. At that second, she was nt even sure where she was standing. Was she even breathing or was still floating on her own.illusion, but what other thing she could possibly do when the man she kept on thinking about was there in front of her eyes. Feeling a little frightful of him being there might has for a little while, but she tries to give herself courage to overcome her own, heart delusion.
            She tries to smile to him,
            “So,” she said, with a little paused, she still remained with the smile that didn’t really change even a little, he nodded his head,
            :Yeah?” he replied her, when he walked towards her side, he pointed dowat the bleacher she was sitting alone. She looked at him, when she gave him a little way,
            “Sure, have a seat,” she told him, when he returned her smile with his dazzling beam across his lips.
            She took a deep breath, and looked at the reflection of light that was setting away,
            “Beautiful huh?” he asked him, pointing towards the sky that was remarkably precious at that second, he nodded his head, agreeing with what she had said to him, he ran his fingers against the side of his lips, with a smile across his lips, “You’re right. Sun setting every day sure if one of the beautiful thing that happens every day in our life. It would be a pity if we don’t cherish every second as time passed by,” he told her, somehow made her heart beat slowly with whatever he said.
            She whimpers a little, “I guess you are right,” she replied. How amazing it was to be with a man who is as charming as a man would ever be, what’s better to see him as a person who cares, appreciate with everything that was going on in the world. It has been heard that how many are men as equal as it was too women, but it’s hard to find a man like him.
            She felt grateful to know a person like him. Journey of life might not be easy, but fate and destiny, who would know what it meant to be. Though somehow, it always meant what it was supposed to be.
            She smiled on her own for a while, and made him wonder,
            “So, what brings you here?” she asked him in a sudden, he took a deep breath, as he turned his gaze towards her, though somehow got her a little startled,
            Those eyes,
            that thought flicker through her head for a few times.
            Sunohara…
            She whispers for his name to herself, was still floating in her own dream, she looked at him without even exchanging any direction during that second.
            Somehow,
            he had a small laughter that breaks whatever she was thinking a moment ago,
            “Earth to Yuki. Earth to Yuki,” he said for a few times, and somehow made her realize that she was actually dreaming.
            She looked at him,
            “What?” and that was the word that came out from her mouth.
            He smiled to her,
            “Wouldn’t it be just wonderful to spend this second with someone you care about?” he said, somehow those words made her lips paused worse that ever before.
            Wouldn’t it be nice if that someone is you, she said to herself, as her eye sight couldn’t every think of anything else anymore rather than just to be by his side, how him being there portrays how her life ahead would be like with him there, but how long with it last anyway? They never even said anything else other than, Hello, How do you do?
            She took a short breath,
            “Yeah…” she replied him, not confident with her own answer, but he smiled, knowing whatever she was thinking of, but he guess it wasn’t right if he’d ever approach her any further than what is actually happening.
            Ever since the past previous life he had been living with, he understands that women might be easy to get along with sometimes, but who would understand how complicated their heart actually is. He would never harm a precious heart; he would never compel a prized soul.
            He looked at her gracefully,  she raised her eyebrow,
            "What?” she asked him the same question again. He did not do anything apart than just smiled to her, he took a deep breath before he would continue with what he wanted to tell her. Thinking if it was the right one to say, but how could he ever disobey his own self. He turned his gaze towards the sun that already set down, setting his eyes on the once beautiful sight.
            “If only it would last forever,” he said as the sun set fades away little by little.
            Miyuki fell silent, feeling the semi cold breeze slowly brushed by against her skin, as the night time was about to fall, she know she couldn’t hold it any longer,
            I got to do this, she told herself, as she looked at him, but felt his fingers touched her soft cheek, he made her looked at him in his beautiful glowing eyes, he hold her hand with the other side of his. She felt his breath gently blew against her ear,
            Oh my God. What is going on? What is going on?!
            The same question kept on asked on her mind.
            How hard was it for her to look away, but it seemed like she was hypnotize by him. She gripped her fist tighter,
            Breathe, Yuki. Breathe,
            she told herself, but he still didn’t change his vision to anywhere else apart from looking straight into her eyes.
            He looked at her consistancely,
            “I know that you’re nervous about this. It is my first time ever do this myself, but I know that we can pull this through together,” he said.
            She wondered where her pulse sheds instantaneously.
            What?
            She questioned herself again, but…
            He smiled to her,
            “I know we can do this play together,” he told her.
            She let out a short sigh as she looked away,
            Oh, how am I hoping he would say that,
            she thought, but she hold his warm hand that was hold against hers, she smile to him, hiding away her failure depression,
            “We’ll do this together?” she asked.
            He nodded,
            “You and me,” he told her, when he felt her suddenly hold him closer in her arms, as if she doesn’t even want to let him go, she smiled with a little tears hidden behind her eyes,
            “Thank you, Sho,”
            “Thank you for always be by my side,” she said, as he felt one drop of her tears fell down on his gray t-shirt, he wrapped his arms around her. Maybe he knows that everything might be too early in between the two of them, but he got to give himself a chance to get to know her more instead of only reading what she have in mind.
            He smiled,
            “Thank you, Yuki, for letting me be your friend,” he said, when he felt her hold him much closer in her arms.
            He guess this is an actual world he’s living in now. He looked at the sky that doesn’t really show any more light, but he was happy to have the only light he wishes to have in his life.
            Miyuki Takeda is someone he need in his life.

**

            “Oi,” he heard someone called for him, when he shakes his head for a few times. He looked at the clock on the wall. It seemed like he took some of his time to actually dream about someone he care about. He looked at Takuya and smiled to him,
            “Sorry, man,” he said, when Takuya had a big laugh,
            “What are you doing?” he asked him. Sho only gave him a little smirk,  “Just thinking of a reason why I decided to go back to the University,” he said.
            Takuya had a laugh, “Anything thought of?” he asked him when Sho just lifted his shoulder up, “I’m not sure actually,” he said, but then he smiled a little,
            “Maybe because there’s a small particular reason why I went back there,” he said.
            Takuya nodded his head,
            “For sure,” he said.
            Suddenly, both of them heard the front door was open, and foot steps walking inside. Both of them exchange their look with each other, Takuya looked at Sho,
            “I thought you’re living here alone?” he asked, but Sho shakes his head, denying whatever he just said is true, but sadly it is not, Takuya raised his eyebrow,
            “Who are you living with?” he asked as the foot steps are getting closer.
            Sho closed his eyes.
            How grateful for him to think that he would be on his own for the whole night, but how can he ever forget that the other man has return in his life.
            He took a deep breath,
            “A…” but before he could finish his sentence, the whole house turns to dark.

Sunday, 21 July 2013

Beast with a true Love : Chapter 7


-7-


            Another week had passed by without any hesitation, with no regret as time ticks by, Miyuki looked at hher own reflection through the mirror the was standing in front of. Even though how she tries to understand herself, and what was actually going on through her life, she always believes that whatever it happened between she and him, it won’t last forever. The emotion that occurs in her heart was only a reflection of what she wants, not with what she actually needs.
            She reached out her hands, holding herself through another gaze that was not real, she had a short sigh, closing her eyes, her fingers slowly slides down on the image of her that she was looking at a moment ago,
            “Why does it have to be like this?” she asked, flashing back the memories both of them had with each other after the night she was at her tragedy,  she still see his sight even though he’s not there in front of her eyes. She covers her face that somehow turns a little warm at a cold night with both of her palm, she tries to compel enough strength for her to move on to another day, slowly she moves one side of her palm towards her hair, sliding it through her semi wet hair, she opens her eyes, looking at herself once again in her violet colored closet inside her room, leaning back against it, she slowly slides down on the small chair behind her back.
            “Just forget him, Yuki,” she mumbles to herself,
            “Forget him,”

**

            “Oh my God! So you two are dating now? Oh! I’m so jealous of you two!” Yuriko said, while walking aside Miyuki, Jun and three of their friends, Miyuki shakes her head, denying what she was saying,
            “No, we are not,” she told them, wih her emotion somehow starting to flicks each time people around her asked the same question over and over again, how apart of her wishes that they would just stop but somehow, the other side of her wishes for them to tell her that it was real but somehow she knows it was not, she only give them a friendly smile,
            “We’re not together,” she told them, but Jun rolled his eyes without anyone see what he was doing, he had a small laugh, the other three felt a little eccentric,  they all changed their gaze towards him who was walking at the end of the four of them, but not at the same laugh, one of them raised her eye brow,
            “You got a problem with that?”
            “Why would i?
            “I don’t know,”
            “Perhaps maybe that you’re,”
            but before she could finished her sentence, he walked closer to the three of them, with a small smirk across his lips, he rubs both of his hands together,
            “And why am I not surprise,” he told them, walking a little further ahead of them, he turned his gaze towards Miyuki whom those girls still not letting go from, he smiled to her, avoiding those exasperating women,  he laughed alone deep inside his heart.
            He gave them an irritating smile, then again  looked at Miyuki once again, he adjust the bag that was held just on one side of his shoulder, he lifted his point fingers up,
            “I’ll see you in class,” he told her, when Miyuki just gave him a friendly smile,
            “Alright, J,” she told him, when she turned towards those three right by her side, holding the books in her hand close to her chest, she took a short breath, she smiled to the three of them,
            “I think I need to  go to the class now. I don’t want to be late, or you know Mr. Takenishi’s attitude on students who’s late,” she told the girls when they looked at her somehow with  a little infuriate emotion, they know they really need to talk to her,Miyuki gave an excuse to them as she made her way out from those girls.
            One of them looked at Yuriko, “I don’t think she will tell,” she told her, when she took a deep breath, giving herself some confidence, she runs her fingers on her soft cheek, she nodded her head,
            “You know I don’t like it when I don’t get what I want, right?” she told them, walking ahead of them, those two girls looked at each other as they followed where Yuriko is going.
            Yuriko might be one of the riches girls in that university. She always knows that she will get whatever things that she wants, without any excuse. She knows she got to have Sunohara Sho  even if whatever have to happen.

**

            During the History class around two fifteen in the evening, it sure seemed to be an evening everyone would like to spend their time outside with their beloved’s one, fulliling each minutes loving each other, but why does it seemed not to be right at some certain point that everything was going on at that moment?
            Even though the teacher was giving explanation up front, his brain was still focus on one thing.
            “Akiyama,
            he had a long sigh, full of distress, though if citizens looked at him from far sight he could be a friendly person, a gentleman indeed, too gorgeous to be more exact, but who would actually understand his intention of life? What other thing that he can possibly do apart from mental depression, he knows thta whatever that person have in mind was never a good decision.
            He leaned closer down the table, hiding his sight away fro the others behind the book he was holding in his, he wasn’t paying any attention to whatever he was tutoring everyone else in class. He hold the pen that was laying beside his semi pale face. Why would at a time like this, even the most amazing person in front of his sight didn’t surprise him much, but how can he deny every time she look at him. With or without any intention, how her beautiful skin mrscomplexion never fails to capture his heart, even though how simple her dressing was, her beautiful figure couldn’t never forfeit to steal his heart away.
            He knows that they only just met, but why does he feel like he have known her for his life time? Was it her reflection that have may poached his emotion, or was it her behavior always made his sorrow life brighter?
            “Sunohara Sho,” he heard someone caling for his name that awaken him up from his fantasy,
            “Yes Mrs Aiba.,” he replied, sitting up straight, he gave her a friendly smile, she nodded her head to see him up and fully alert, she holds the text she was holding in her hand closer to her  chest,
            She smiled to him,
            “Mr Sunohara,” she called for his name again,
            he lifted his head up, looking at her straight into her eyes, but he exchange his sight for a little while looking at the person at the other end of the class. Even though she wasn’t looking at him, he knows that she was smiling there, feeling grateful for some reason, how he wishes that he could be with her for the rest of her life.

**
           
            He wiped away the blood tat stained at the side of his lips, he felt his sweats drops down little by little behind his back in a hall that wasn’t cold as it should be. He was be aware that his anger wasn’t at it’s standard state any longer. He clenches his teeth against one another, gripping his fist tighter, he was sure that his fear a moment ago begun to rushed away by the fury that was boiling each second passed by.
            Closing his eyes for a little while, he took his deepest breath as he heard the footsteps behind him getting closer, he was awake to know that the person was ready to approach to him, he slowly turned his gaze towards those men behind him.
            They stopped walking right before his eyes,
            “What are you thinking, Mr. Akiyama?” he said, with a piece of silky soft purple silk in one of the person’s hand, he sniff on it, take pleasure in whatever he just had, he looked towards the side, hiding away the fierce heart that was struggling to hide away his actual desire,
            revenge? That was what matters.
            He looked at the blood on the floor where he was standing,
            Why did they do this to you,
            He thought all alone.
           
            Suddenly the person behind him had a short laughter, he felt his awful breath against his neck, “It’s sad what happened to her family,” the person said, as if sound like he was concern, he had a short sigh, touching his back,
            “And I heard that both of you were planning to run away with each other before that,” he finished his sentence but one of its friend had a hard laughter, his vision of the person’s awful face came across his gaze instantly,
            “But she tasted so,” relishing the sight of her body in front of their eyes, how he wish he couldn’t recall back anything that happened a moment ago, but it was still in his mind.
            How they were holding her in their grasps, he could only hear her cry, how her tears fell down in despair, how he wishes that he could save her, but why isn’t he able to be doing anything? Though with whatever he have, the strength that was given via mercy deflected his regular self for being alive after a terrifying incident occur in his life, why would this kind of people still exist in a world that’s already almost at it’s independence , they still have no respect in life that was supposed to be.
            He took a deep breath,
            the mistake that has been done because of his greed, vicious self because of love, he knows she can not accept him for who he was, but he promised to move away, to give her life to be free, to give her life to be on her own, not bleed out of insanity.
            Forgive me, Tamiko,
            he thought on his own, when he felt someone pushed him down, kneeling on his knee, he do heard a lot of voices, but why didn’t he understand anything? He didn’t bother about everything any longer.
            One of the men looked at his fellow friend who was wearing a semi torn maroon shirt   Masaki gave them an irritating smile even though he was tortured unmercifully, he still try to hold back his anger, because he know that if he couldn’t control himself any longer, he bet that there will be,
            he smirked on his own,
            disaster,
            he thought alone.
            “KILL HIM!” one of them ordered those other men, suddenly as one of them was about to kicked him at his stomach hard, Masaki moved as swiftly as he could ever do, and went to the other side of the room.
            He looked at them; with infuriating sentiment that was crumbled up in his heart was somehow release instantly. How his pain that was throbbing him gradually for a while, he looked at Tamiko’s body that was lying there on the ground without any dignity.
            They looked him, feeling a little startled with what he had just done, they turned their gaze to one another, when Masaki just gave them an irritating smirk across his face,
            “Why?” he asked them, as he took the cloth that was laying right beside her, her walked closer to her body. He covers her up with what he was holding; he ran his fingers slowly through his neck. Somehow at that time, his sentiment anger that was boiling up down his spine has gotten back to its placid situation one time ago, but how can he lie about his other intention to them?
            He rubs the other side of his shoulder that was injured just now, he took a deep breath, but still not looking at them, “Oh, how painful was that,” he mumbled on his own, but one of them got a little freaked out with what just happened a moment ago, he turned his gaze towards the fellow friend that was standing right beside him, they looked at one another. Feeling a little puzzled too at the same time,
            “What are you?” the man in maroon shirt asked him, but Masaki act like he don’t see anything else in front of his face other than her, he smiled a little, “Pity isn’t it?” he asked them, as they moved closer to each other, he knows that they were scared though how brave enough they were still there, standing stiff as a steel, Masaki sigh again, as he bend down, and lifted her fragile body up, he turns around with her in his hand, putting her down on the beautiful velvet couch inside that living room, he looked at her beautiful face that was crying in pain as they took her life away.
            He gently ran his fingers on the scar that wounded her. He licked the end of his fingers, he knows she was scared. He felt that everything surrounds him was really quiet, as he closed his eyes,

            “Promise me, Akiyama,” she told him as she walked closer to him, he looked at her standing there in front of his sight. He knew that how was it possible for her to forgive his mistake that easy, but he have to face it gradually, he nodded his head, when he felt her holding his palm from behind his back, she leaned close to him, as she wrapped her arms around his waist, wrinkling his shirt slightly, he felt her breathing close to his ear, “Don’t do it again,” she whispered to him, as he felt her tears dropped down gently on her cheek, lower on his back.
            He tries to turn around, but she holds him tighter. He closed his eyes for a moment. How can he even breathe if he was puzzled at this kind of situation? It’s true that he had done something wrong just because he wanted to be by her side, willingly sacrifice anything to be with her, he was grateful that she still wanted to be with him. He took a deep breath, as he touched her arms that was holding him close,
            “I promise you, Tamiko,” he replied her,
            “I promise you,”

            Masaki smiled as he remembered her beautiful images.
            Tamiko,
            he looked at her lifeless body on the ground, when he gripped his fist tighter,. He closed his eyes for a few moments, as he sigh slightly.
            How could a person do like this to her.
            How could they even have a heart to see her suffer?
            How could they even…
            He bit the end of his lips, and somehow felt it got torn a little,
            “Hey!” he suddenly felt someone called out for him from front. He stand still there, as he slowlu opens his eyes once again, he took a deep breath
            “You do know that it’s unpleasant to come into someone’s house without any permit,” Masaki said before one of them decided to move a little closer to him, but he just smiled to him who was just doing nothing, but one of his friend grabbed his hand, pulling him behind, he turned around and looked at the man standing in front of him, as his breathing tone went in a mischievous way,
            “Hiroto,” his friend called for his name, but he pulled his hand away, eager enough to face Masaki on his own, he walked closer to him,
            “And why would I care even if I would want to kill her while she was suffering,” he said in a sudden mode, but somehow, Masaki just smiled to him,
            “Is that so?” he asked that stranger in front of his eyes, when that person grabs his crumpled shirt.

**

            That weekend passed in a delusion. How she kept on wishing that she was not involved in anything that was going on in her life. It’s a little strange she felt alone when her friends asked her out, and her giving an excuse. How she hope for that she was only crumpled in her own room. A place that she can share her own feeling and everything else that matters, she opens her eyes, looking up atraight at the blank ceiling, she sigh alone,
            “Mondays,” she grumbled, pushing herself up to get ready, she grabbed the towel that was hanging on the hanger at the side of her bed, she walked towards the door of her room, but before she go any further, she stopped there for a moment, standing there in front of the mirror, she looked at herself in a morning like that.
            She had a short sigh, running her fingers through her half messy hair, she bit her lips, closing her eyes for a few moments, something slowly appeared in her head,
            Why,
            she asked herself, though it seemed like she knows that she wasn’t standing there on her own. Her own heart tries to comprehend the awkward sentiment almost everything. She opened her eyes and looked at her own reflection in the mirror; she ran her fingers slightly against it. How cold it felt, somehow still isn’t enough to make her heart back at ease.
            She heaves a sigh once again,
            “What am I thinking?” as she slides her fingers down, she always felt that other man in her mind always being there with her most of the time.
            She had a long stare.
            It is true that Miyuki Takeda is one of the bravest girl lives among the fellow students. What in the world would fright her, most people still asked among them, but why is she feeling like this every time she thinks of him?
            But how can only a man put her out from ease?
            She shakes her head, trying to get back in the reality world; she rubs the side of her jaw, putting the violet colored towel on her shoulder, as she walked away from there.
            She looked at the world outside, as if it was a day before dawn, she turned on the light for her bathroom, and slowly walks inside.
            Closing her eyes for a second before she pulled the door, she looked to the side,
            “Sunohara,”
            she whispers as she closed the door.

**

            She clears her throat again, as she turns around, trying to imagine the scenery of beautiful melodies that should be echoing in her mind, she was still trying to find the right rhythm to flow through, somehow,
            she lifted her shoulders up and sigh,
            I’m just alone, so I can do this!
            she tries to smile, as she took a deep breath in and closed her eyes,
            Okay, let’s do this,
           
she told herself, when everything at her surrounding was actually empty.
            Miyuki opened her eyes slightly,
            “O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore,” but before she could finished her sentence, she paused for a few second.
            Why can’t I do this!
 
           she grumbled alone, she looked towards the position where her supposed to be prince should be standing. Even though it’s only a school play, but being there with him gave her the biggest distress. How would she be beside him, or how could she even look at his face that always seemed to be concern in everything that was going on, she wasn’t sure how to be living her life with that person that maybe not meant for her anyway.
            She cleared her throats for a few more times,
            “Let’s try this again,” she said gently, trying to give herself faith to be doing what she has always have done before.
            “O Romeo, Romeo!” she shorted the sentence to give her a little time to breathe.
            And there was the pause again, somehow, she decided to imagine that she was just floating there on her own,
            “Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,” she walked towards the position where should be standing during the act, she opens her eyes to look around and imagine it was a full crowded hall,
            “And I'll no longer be a Capulet,” she finished her sentence. Sadly, she didn’t hear any reponse the thou the person she called love,
            she had a little laugh,
            “Who am I kidding,” she said, deciding to just move on with the rest of her day today, she hold the script she was holding to the side and stepped forward towards her bag that was at the chair located at the side of the stage.
            She suddenly heard another footstep that mingle together with hers.
            She stopped walking, raising her eyebrows up, she turns around but somehow, she sees nothing,
            It’s just your illusion, Yuki,
            She thought once again, as she moved her steps again,
            “Shall I hear more,” she paused again, widen her eyes as she heard someone replied to her previous sentence, she turns, looking around, trying to find who was it talking. Seemed like she couldn’t see anybody, but she sure did heard something a few second ago.
            She took a short breath in,
            “Who…” but she couldn’t manage to finished her line as she heard that voice spoken once again,
            “Shall I hear more,” the voice break in proceedings for a while, but he still, “or shall I speak at this?” manage to finished his line.
            Miyuki blinked her eyes, “'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
            Who was that?
            She asked herself, but she took a deep breath to calm herself down,
            “'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague,” she stopped her dialogue but she heard the person that she does not knowwho tapped its lfeet, wating for her to move on. Miyuki frowned as she took a deep breath to go on with her sentence.
            What is he trying to do to me?
            She thought before she decided to move on, he heard his footsteps getting much closer to her. She felt her heart began to move faster, though paused within second passed by. She tries to breathe, but eventually, she seemed to fail.
            Who is this guy?  She should on her own again.

**

            He walked inside his well furnished hall with a cam of light beer in his hand. He sighed, taking a deep breath when he thought about him being there with him again. What was his reason for being there anyway? He glances towards the open window, as the sunlight flare against his vision. He wince a little, when he saw a vision of that man standing there inside the hall next to him.
            Why would he still be here? What does he really want from me? Did I even do anything wrong anyway? Or was there any other reason for him being here once again?
           
That thought kept on flowing through in brain. Sure enough he would know that no one in this would accept who they really are if they know their true identity. A creature that once were said afraid of sun that kept on shining through the day light, he tough the necklace he have hanging on his neck, he bit the end of his lips,  running his fingers through his forehead, as it slowly slides through hisdark brown hair, he lifted his shoulder up, still didn’t understand with what was actally happening.
            Is there a game that he planned to play? Or was it only a delusion he could even portray. Was he having a nightmare though he was still breathing the air surrounding?
            He flicked his finger, when he turns his gaze towards the side and saw a portrait on the small table next to the large vase at the side of the couch he was standing beside. He looked at it for sometimes; taking a few moments about what actually reflected against the image drew there.
            He took the frame, sitting on the couch, resting his hand at the side of it, he let out a short sigh, “You,” he mumbled alone, when he saw the portrait of them and his dearest friend back in the past year together, it was in the year,
            Sho closed his eyes when he thinks about the time.
            1869.
           
It was on their graduation day when both of them decided to have it as a memory. He took a sip of his beer,
            “Why did I even trust you,” he said, biting the end of his lips, he lay the portrait flat on the table beside him.
            He guess it was true when people said there will be an end for a friendship, but what if they are now more than that?
            He took the portrait once again and looked at how close both of them were back at that time, but he guess everything changed after that thing occurred with the two of them. He knew that he wasn’t ready to be one of this. He wasn’t ready to be one of them.
            “But I guess he did saved my life,” he mumbled, gripping the end of it, when suddenly he heard a footsteps behind his back. He had a short thought, as he looked at the antique watch inside his house. It seemed like it was only three in the evening, it might be a little strange for a person to be back home this early. He’s sure that he might be having a good time outside first than being just at home.
            He raised his eyebrow, it’s impossible to be him as he took a deep breath in, trying to scent the odor that’s lingering inside the house
            It’s not him, he thought once again.
            Akiyama Masaki surely is a perfect man in the outside world. Almost every women that see him would fall on their feet only just looking at his exotic smile, even though it didn’t really mean anything, Masaki always takes the lead in almost everything that he do.
            Even though how irritating he could be, Sunohara knows that Akiyama won’t ever forget his previous past memories.
            He closed his eyes for a few second, when he heard the footsteps getting closer to him. He bit his lips.
            That’s not Masaki, he thought, knowing that that man would never surprise him if he’s ever resent in front of his face, as so he decided to turned around, when he was very much in shock to see whoever that was standing in front of his face,
            Hiroshi Takuya.
            He felt his heart stopped for an instant.
            Other than Masaki being the closest friend in his life, he must admit that this man also did help him a lot during the pass time back in Tokyo a few years ago. Even though they know each other not for a very long time, but he have a scence that this man is someone he can trust.
            Sho looked at the man in front of him, a little awkward with him being there,
            but somehow,
            a smile carved across his lips,
            “Takuya,” he said, when that man walked forward to his direction,
            He gave him a friendly smile, “Sunohara,” he said, when both of them gave a handshake to each other, Sho felt him patting his shoulder.
            “It has been a while since I’ve heard from you,” Sho said, feeling a little bit keyed up to see him present there. Still conveying himself to be steady as he could, Takuya nodded his head, running his fingers through his soft black hair, he looked at Sho from the end of his eyesight, “I know,” he answered, a little strangely somehow, but he guesses everyone must have change.
            Sunohara returned his smile.
            “So, what’s new with you?” Takuya asked him.

**

            Miyuki walked closer towards the garden in the set of the play, she turned to the side, taking a deep breath when her head was still full of curiosity to know who is the man she’s talking to right now, because she know she never heard that voice before.
            “And why are you not continuing?” she heard the man behind the shadow suddenly snarled from somewhere behind the curtain in that room. She closed her eyes for a few moment. How heart heart wanted to shouted at whoever the person was, how she wanted him to know that she’s no enjoying whatever that he planned to do then, but somehow, she let out a short sigh.
            He is helping her with her dreadful fright to be on the stage once again, especially with the actual actor that can’t stop giving her heart a sudden palpitation almost all the time,
            She took a deep breath, 
            “What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?” she read the line from the script she was still holding in her hand.
            She heard the footsteps walked closer to her direction,
            Who is this guy, she thought again when it came across her heart to turned around and see tho actually is the person standing close enough to her.
            But somehow his footsteps stopped just close enough behind her back. She felt her heart stopped for a second,
            This is my chance, as she decided to turned around.
            But before she even move any further, suddenly the curtains inside the room fell down, and the lights turns out.
            She opened her eyes wide turns around,
            “What’s going on?” she asked, wondering just too many question at that time, when her heart began to beat harder in an immediate time, she kept on walking towards the way she doesn’t know where she was heading, but accidently ran herself against a prop from the play as she almost slipped down, but somehow, she felt a person grabbed a hold of her before she touched the ground.
            She closed her eyes as she felt him holding her so close in his semi warm body, his skin was brushing against her bare arms, as she felt his warm breath just so close towards her neck.
            She holds his arms when her breath increased gruffly.
            “How can you,” but before she can even finished her sentence, she felt his fingers touched her lips. She closed her eyes,
            “What,” but again he ran his fingers on his lips,  she heard his breath so close at her ear, “Don’t talk. Just continue,” she heard him whispering to her.
            She blinked her eyes for a few times. The strange thing was that, she know almost everyone from the play she’s acting at that time, but why she never hear this man’s voice? Who is this person anyway?
            She took a deep breath as his stunning, just gorgeous odor went through her scences, she felt him slightly ran his fingers on her lips,
            “Just continue,” he told her, as she get on her feet once again.
            She tries to look around, but unfortunately, she sees…
            Nothing.
            Strangely, the room that once were warm, began to felt a little cold, feeling him caressing her jaw against his, she felt her blood having a sudden rush.
            She closed her eyes.
            Why am I feeling like this?
            She wondered herself over and over again, as she was in submerged with her own fear, confusion, full of question, or perhaps it was only …
            an illusion…
            He breathe close enough to her ear again,
            “Continue,”  he told her.
            She took a deep breath,
            what is the line. What is the line…
            she mumbled alone, trying to remember the sript she was supposed to memorized, she had a gulp, with a short breathe in, somehow, even though she was afraid with what was going on, she still don’t want him to let her go,
            “I gave thee mine,” she paused, forcing herself to captivate back what she have read, she took a deep breath when she was sure about what she wanted to say.
            She let out her breath slowly,
            “I gave thee mine before thou didst request it. And yet I would it were to give again,” she finished her sentence, she let out a relief sigh,
            I never thought I did that,
           
she said to herself, when he smiled to her through the darkness, when suddenly there’s a glimmer of light shines a little bit,
            “You did great. I guess I should leave you here now,” he told her, as he stood her back up once again, he decided to walked away from her, but before he could go any further, she grabbed his hand, “Wait,” she said, when his footsteps stopped walking again.
            “What is it?” he asked her.
            Even though when he’s about to do made her heart excited a little, but her intentioin of still wanting to know was piling up each seconds time passed away,  she holds his hand lightly, she took a short breath in, with her eyes closed for a few second,
            I need to know. I have to know. I got to know who the man behind the shadow is,
           
She thought again, feeling the sweats on her palm brushed against his dry hand,
            “Who are you?” she finally asked him, when she heard him had a very soft laugh, she was sure that he was smirking with her ridiculous question, but she guess she have to…
            She bit the end of her lips,
            Why do I have to know?
            she thought as she slowly release her grip,
            “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for asking too much. I just wanted to know who you are, but I guess this is getting a little odd for you. I’m sorry,” she said, when she decided to turned around and walked away. Why would she even thought of a man so gentle like this would even have time to talk to her anyway? Why woud she even give hope with things that doesn’t have a destiny yet. She knows for sure that the person wth her right then was not Sunohara Sho, the gorgeous man she had a little heart on, she nodded her head,
            “I’m sorry,” as she started to move further, but,
            “Just call me Akiyama,” she heard him replied her. She stopped for a while,
            did he just replied me?
            She asked herself, when she heard him walking closer to her, he stopped behind her back,
            “Akiyama Masaki,”
                        

Friday, 5 July 2013

Equation 50 :Desire


As time may have come,
How beautiful the wind,
Devine a gloomy night,
Though how your touch was,
Still has not,
Won’t able to, somehow,
Felt, an emotional whisper,
For your love,
How equally a heart compel
Disgracing desire, it still was
Only the same, but
Feeling won’t ever, 
Change,
Desire of an emotion,
How a love for you
Will always be,
The same.

Kytty.


Wednesday, 3 July 2013

This is the actual world....

Hello guys. Woow.. It has been quite sometimes since i've written anything in this blog. I reeally hope that all of u are doing alright. As for me? Tired with the new work. Its really amazing that finally i got called in to bé apart of the Malaysia Airlines, the place i've been dreaming to work at since im a little girl, but finally i've realize that.... Previously i was only living in my own world..
it's true that living a life in a big city is full of sociallity, different styles of world and everything, but sometimes, no most of the time i just don't understand with whats going on with myself. It seems like i am still living on my own. I still love living ALONE.
i guess it's hard for people to understand u if u don't apprach them, but how can i even connect if it's really hard for them to even reply to a smile almost everytime? How bad is it anyway? It's true that i'm having multiple sclerosis, sure life isn't as easy living ALONE, but  i still have legs to walk, hands to touch, lips to speak. Even though if i'm paralize, we are still breathing the same air everyday. We share it every day. What's the point of BEING annoying most of the time? Do u even have to pay for each smile u give anyway?
Nope, i never ask u to sympattize me but how nice can you say u are if u don't even know how to return a smile?

Kytty.