In this world we are living in, all of us are praying and wishing that every day that we live would pass by peacefully and only end with success. Everyone wants to live a happy life and be with a happy family until the end of their life, but eventually not all of us are predict to have what we wanted to be as perfect as everybody else.
As for me, at times when I start to think on my own, it is delightful when people see at how I can do my daily routine like a normal people do... I am happy myself that I am capable to help my mom that has giving my life to be breathing in for almost 26 years, but sometimes, it’s slightly sad when people don’t really see that I am actually crying because of who I am now.
I already tired of giving up my life since I was 18 years old. How every day I wake up before and wishing that I am not living anymore, but I know that He is giving me a new life to be breathing in. Each day I wake up in my life it was like a misery I have to face alone. Everybody said that there nothing is wrong with me, but if I can’t walk properly anymore, or even stand straight still for some time, they might just think that I am only making up things because I am lazy anymore.
Was it still a pity to myself if I am standing on my own on a busy road and I am not sure if I could make it pass the road? Is it even guilt if I ask for someone to take my hand and guide my way because I c can’t really see no more?
Perhaps destiny that is written for us isn’t always a happy ending for everyone in this whole life. Even if one day I can’t no longer see anymore, I still have to believe in myself and be strong for me to move on with my life even if I am left on my own. I still have to smile and eve if I cannot see anymore, I would still remember the voices of the person that care for me, that i care for them the most in my life. Though He had taken away what was precious in everyone’s life, but He had given me something else to replace what isn’t there for me anymore.
Happiness in life is what I pray for the most that that is what I needed the most. Even if I am not the person who I was before, God had met me with people who care for me in my life and I am thankful for them for being there right by my side.
I have multiple sclerosis and I might not know what will happen next, but I will keep on smiling and move on with my life. Even if one day I will be blind or won’t be able to move anymore, I won’t give up and I will achieve what I want to become.
Kytty Sakuraiba / Scarlet Storm 2015.