Saturday, 18 April 2015

Short Essay : Strength


           As it was today, after years had passed from the bound of love that once felt in a heart for him, she believed in herself and still stand strong apart from her heart that was torn, shattered apart. Shizuka Ayato, aged was only eighteen at that time, wasn’t sure if she could ever moved on without him right by her side. 

            Almost every night, she cried when she felt her body shudder as she can no longer able to adpt the pain in herself. She remembered the last thing that he had said to her, “It’s just my work! If you can’t accept how my life is, then what’s the point of us being with each other?!” She knew that he wasn’t happy with her, but why when the tense was rising, she felt that she needed him more than anything else in her life? Was it the mistake that she had done with him or was it only an existence of another person that was living along with her through her life?
            The memories of them, the love that they once shared that shattered at the end of July 2009. He left her with only a last goodbye. She spent most of her night wondering if it would be the right decision to be done. She felt her heart triggers as days and months had passed in her life. The little creature, she said, that was living in her womb was growing bigger and bigger. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be responsible of it or does she still want to keep the love that both of them had once before?
            “If my destiny isn’t supposed to be with him, then let me raise the child as he was meant to live with me,” she said to herself and keep the baby in her life. She still see the man that she known before as she live her daily life and until it was today, both of them still hadn’t spoken a word other than asking for how they were doing. 
            It did twisted her heart apart as she still see him smiling with his life. She didn’t even manage to tell him before that she was pregnant with his baby, perhaps the only love of her life. She gave birth to her little child, Akio Matsumoto, in the end of January 2010. The man who loved her before kept on asking her, who’s baby that she was taking care of and why was the baby’s name seemed to be related to his. She only give him a smile and said there was a reason.
            Until today, April of 2015, that boy was already five years old and he kept on asking her why he doesn’t have a father. It did made her heart triggers but she kept on telling her child, “Your father was a great man, and he was there, he would love you the most in his life,”. She still miss his, Jun Matsumoto, presence in his life, but she already have someone else's love to replace his in her life.

(c) Scarlet Storm 2015

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