Equation 182 : Reality

I tried to cope but somehow,
Somehow at the end,
It made me wonder,
Wonder why would my heart kept on longing,
Longing to waste my time as I kept on trying to,
To earn something that somehow,
At the end It would actually do,
Do nothing to my little life apart from only,
Only trying to endure the pain,
The pain and suffer for only hoping and praying for,
To win a heart what isn't even meant,
Meant anything to you.

The question that kept on repeating,
Regarding will the person ever wanted to be,
Longing to be with me too,
It should be erased and replaced with,
Do I even mean anything to you?
Because in the dark cold sorrow of a heart,
It already know,
Knowing what I actually feel in my solemn heart,
It all only exist in a dream,
That I so long to see it coming true.

Not this reality that,
That the pain that were buried deep inside,
Deep inside a heart,
Won't be giving a chance for you to even,
Breathe,
Or living one more time.

(c) Scarlet Storm 2016